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Friday, 27 January 2023

Dad

Negative willingness,
I did not recognize you,
When the view pushed me through the window,
That may have been absconding. 
Your eyes, dad. I can't evoke them.
Your feigned care, Your petrifying love.
You might not even know what it is.
Fill in, fill in my thoughts with remorse,
Blue eyes, like a block of ice.
All your failure should have been
transferred to a tranquil, deep lake.
We did; you built that vile factory,
In your heart, which was your real self.
That was the vacuum where I annealed,
And when I woke up again,
the scene was a landfill,
I stood in a see-through plastic box,
And I had a shower.
There were no pipes. Yes, Dudady,
Those tubes were the legs of a metal octopus,
And the liquid from the showerhead was purple.
I cannot tell if that was blood or
poisoned water. That was my lobbyist
for my untimely decease. It failed.
I became a dumb Saint of rubbish
that needed to be get disappeared.
Did not have a body.
No communication in that anti-paradise.
No Morse codes or cables.
Our screams flow backwards into our mouths, 
Our mouths are drawn semicircles, 
The curtain Oscillates,
and we are behind it and gasping for air,
And that whole past sinks into
the abysmal ocean;
I cannot even tell what freedom is;
What would it be? 
Which of them were my parents?
Do I have them? 
The Rotten Earth is buckled.
I should be happy now. 
Living with all poisoned thoughts.
Now, It is Friday early morning evening,
Right before dawn,
birds sing, possibly blackbirds,
and we keep going towards
the spring equinox.
Longer light, shorter darkness.
All I need to forget is love.
Did you love me? ---Don't you---
I know.


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