My ridiculous life

Answers cannot find the gaps on your face.
This night filled you with dark rain clouds.
Now, You might feel you are a vapour.
One of those floating steam infants in the living room.
You are scared and no longer wish to keep it hidden.
Packed and sloppy moments roam with chunked thoughts.
Your insomnia is a gift from the past and future.
Are you still in that house? All good?
Were you that man sitting on the mattress's side
and watched the beige curtain yesterday?
Did you pain?
Have you pushed your forehand into the soft, grey carpet?
If Yes,
did you feel it was like the ocean,
and You were one of the fish in it?
Eventually, you might have been happy
because you weren't a human for a second.
You were able to be healed from that nightmare.
Have you attempted to cry as you did not understand
why you had not wanted to yell?
Are you that man who goes to sleep around 6 pm every day?
Finding a way out from the world of Duplo-legged,
gleam-skinned grotesques.
Is it the same place where You were yesterday?
Is it the room that offers a pleasant and beautiful view?
You can enjoy the transformation into an agoraphobic version of You.
How is the fear of touching being developed?
Like hermits in medieval, nothing belongs to you.
You can be pleased with nothing,
you have simple desires;
you do not eat much,
you do not breathe,
you do not have sex,
you do not drink,
you want to avoid consuming media.
Though you are a contemporary hermit,
you do not believe in any god,
While You imagine you live in 200 years,
without a biological body,
you would travel in space,
your body would be just a shape of atoms,
no more non-equality, no more power of sociopaths,
no more capitalism, no more competition,
in that age, there would not be a market and capital,
no more money,
no religions and religions.
There would not be fools called "politicians" voted by fools.
Is it the same easy chair where You sat yesterday?
Nothing brings more joy than staying in a small garden,
watching squirrels, magpies,
and motionless apples on the concrete;
some of them have been rotten,
and those got an ochre colour with tiny white mould dots.
Expiration, exit and silence.
They mix together with sadness,
and provide you with a bizarre peaceful
the being is always similar.
You know: the Start, end cliche. 
Which comes from our ego.
Like all other things. 
You want to get rid of your thoughts.
You try to cure those painful phobias that result from witnessing
the abundance of terrible things in the human world. 
You would go out and go to museums and parks during the day,
but the only place you can visit is the shop as you need food;
you run in the dark every evening and dawn
when almost nobody is on the streets,
and knowing that the problem is not you,
You are not crazy,
the problem is how most people behave
they poison everything
exploit everything
and alter this planet, cover everything
with their civilisation's jelly
and you do not want to be a part of this
because it is primitive and inadequate.
So, you stay home,
until you have a place where you can hide,
and try to forget
you are one of them
and wish you were in the future,
but now, you are one of them,
no excuse
and no escape.