képek, betűk

I tried to think of something, but I couldn’t.

Then I tried to feel, but that failed too.

At last, with my fingers around

the hot coffee mug,

I tried to feel its warm, but only acknowledged it.

I tried to think of someone from long ago,

but no one came to mind. Then I would have liked

to worry, but that too failed.

I only sat in the armchair,

watching the shadows.

I wrote this text, aand thought

I could just as well lie ----->

something beautiful.

“everything will be all right,

nothing will hurt today!”

“you’ll manage this too,

you’ll get through it! it will be all right!”

“the scientists are coming to rescue this decay!”

“one day there will be someone

who loves you!”

“next year will be better!

there is progress!”

“humanity is wonderful!

what’s more! God exists too,

not only as Mickey Mouse’s

imaginary friend.”

I tried to see myself

wanting success,

but it only made me nauseous.

Then I thought of

someone stroking me;

that frightened me.

I pictured someone kissing me,
but it only brought to mind a cold caterpillar,
the way it moves in my mouth,
coughing up disgusting slime.

Finally, I stopped —

pointless nonsense,

no lesson, no opinion, no anything,

gazing out of emptiness into emptiness:

to put a full stop here.