Nd45678UJ to my G.

Mixed-up clouds and roofs ---- offer a red beast on gloomy Satan,

Hundreds after thousands, 

tens before zero

amorph chaos

a non-exclusive hell into the morning,

Colonised PVC hands hobbling in the smelling life,

All in a tinned can, biting my body vapours around.

There are melted egos in hearts around me,
earlies bumble bees above overgrown bushes,

Grass-eating Cellar spiders flocks 

roe-headed snails watching my sluggish dying,

Death lurking on the corner,

A million times and always earlier,

It's still there, visible from the bedroom window,

Behind the thyme in the plastic tile

Watching my invisible pseudo-death.

A new second is coming

then comes a newest 

after that moment that was,

Loosely keyed glance pairs from our last kitchen,

You are in my tear cube

You sat there, wearing my puffer jacket,

I left it there

Last present to your daddy

The fridge handle still contains my frozen fingerprints

The Bajvivo street 

You

and Our seven years

To be there, to be alone,

Eating those scents, 

feeling those clothes,

From my dead blah-blah-blah,

Your mindset is a paralysed lock,

Emotions robbed trust, 

the last hand knocking up and down,

from the time coffin

takes up my face

Crying harps from my heart

know the way into the sorrowed ballad

I am erasing it now

Dear, if I don't want to survive,

Please give me your soft wrist one more time,

I want to touch all your wrinkles

I want to smile into your hair

I know it sounds like an adage,

Cliche

But what else could I write?

If this is all that's in my head,

alone again,

You're thousands of miles away,

I am In a dark room with only a suitcase,

And this darkness around me,

Where my laptop in my lap lightens my face.